


this coffee's shit

by Ofwordsandroses



Series: Five for Five [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy-centric, Reflection, and bad language, apocalypse is stopped because I said so, because it's five, death mentions, he doesn't get one but he does get coffee, season two spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25752283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ofwordsandroses/pseuds/Ofwordsandroses
Summary: Five has a cup of coffee and reflects, Diego stops him from brooding.
Relationships: Number Five & The Hargreeves
Series: Five for Five [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1868098
Comments: 15
Kudos: 296





	this coffee's shit

Sometimes Five wonders how many more times he will have to see his siblings die.

He had been thirteen the first time. A boy too sharp, too reckless, arrogant and impulsive who was confronted with something he hadn’t been ready for. Ash, ash and ruins and smoke. Burnt bodies and crumbling buildings and nobody.

Nobody anywhere.

Well that hadn’t been true had it.

He had his siblings, their bodies. Left behind in the rubble, bloodied ad bruised and _dead._

Older, so much older and yet nowhere near old enough to die. Luther, strong brave golden boy Luther buried beneath the rubble. Diego, he had seen Diego just ten minutes ago. Earlier that morning he had seen him with Grace trying to overcome his stutter and now he was lying there dead. Five ran, dashing through rubble and he wasn’t crying yet because it wasn’t real yet, nothing felt real. Allison’s dead body didn’t seem real, bloody and covered in ash, everything was covered in ash and so was Klaus. His now tattooed hands were reaching out for something and Five spent a moment idly wondering what he had so desperately been trying to reach.

Number Five’s own body wasn’t there.

He thought he might be the only thing left alive.

Ben’s body wasn’t there, neither was Vanya’s. Sweet little Vanya who had Five wrapped around her little finger even if she hadn’t known it.

Five knew better than to think the fact that their bodies were missing meant that they were alive. 

He collapsed in the rubble, screaming and crying and pleading for them to _wake up, please, please js_

Doomsday, the apocalypse, the first time he had been confronted with his siblings corpses.

He had been thirteen and he hadn’t even been strong enough to bury them all properly. He had been thirteen and reckless and impulsive and arrogant and he swore that somehow, he’d make sure he’d never bury his siblings again.

*

The second time wasn’t as bad.

He didn’t stop the apocalypse of course, none of them could stop Vanya. But he dragged them all away before they could die a horrible burning graphic death.

It was a small mercy.

Just because he had no bodies to bury didn’t mean that Five hadn’t almost failed his siblings once again.

*

The third time he had seen his siblings die was in yet another apocalypse. Nuclear warfare, the end of all times and it’s a different street and a different time but all he could see was ash and all he could breathe was smoke and all he knew was that once again his siblings were dead. Dead and gone because out of everything Five had done in his life the only thing he seemed to bring was ruination.

He couldn’t do the only thing he has ever needed too.

Hazel grabbed him and they travel back again. He refused to stop and think about the death that followed his every step.

*

The fourth time, the last time (for now) was of course courtesy of the handler.

Five had never believed in God.

He didn’t think any of his siblings did actually which was possibly the one thing they all agree on. Which in itself was odd, they’re all higher powers in their own right after all. Klaus can even commune with the dead which logically suggests that an afterlife does in fact exist.

For some reason Five still doesn’t believe it.

Humans have placed many characteristics onto God, omniscient, omnipotent, omnibenevolent. A God must have all three otherwise they cannot be characterised as a God at all. Dear old dad’s bedtime readings rattling about his brain that lead him to the conclusion no God can exist because there is no kindness. Five does not know of kindness, he thinks sometimes he can see it in his siblings. In Vanya leaving out peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches. He sees it in Klaus because his wreck of a brother always sticks around despite how shit they treat him. He sees glimmers of kindness in all of them and it reminds him why he fought so hard to get back to them in the first place.

There is no kindness in seeing them dead around him.

Because Five is a lot of things, has done a lot of things but at the end of the day he has never stopped, not even for one moment, thinking about his family.

Five doesn’t believe in a God. When he’s dead, he’ll be dead. A book closed on a pitiful existence of a boy who was too impulsive and arrogant to know better. The last chapter of a man who survived an apocalypse and breathed ash and smoke and fear for 40 years. The last page on a weapon who has always been bred for violence.

Five would die just as he had lived, violent and prideful and desperate.

And he would, one day.

That day was not today.

Because Five was a lot of things, has done a lot of things but at the end of the day he has never stopped, not even for one moment, thinking about his family.

Never stopped _fighting_ for his family.

Reginald’s words echo in his head. Everything can change in a matter of seconds, Five only had seconds. He felt his blood pooling beneath him, saw his siblings scattered around him and he knew, and god it hurt to knew that they’re dead.

He travelled back in time again and stopped the handler.

He doesn’t have to bury his siblings again.

*

They’re alive, back in their own time. There’s no apocalypse.

Five wonders how many more times he will have to see his siblings die.

Because sometimes when he looks at Allison all he sees is her dead and crushed beneath rubble. He sees Klaus’ burnt and charred corpse. He sees Diego riddled with bullet holes.

Klaus is the one who can speak to the dead and yet these days Five wonders who between them is truly haunted.

“Five? I know you don’t like our coffee, but it can’t actually be that shit can it?” Diego’s voice jolts him out of his musings. The coffee in his hands is cold now, Five doesn’t know how long he’s been staring into it but he knows it must have been long enough to cause some concern. He takes a sip for appearance sake and grimaces. It really is that shit.

“Are you err, you okay there bud?”

Five grimaces again. His siblings interactions with him are always quite painful. It’s hard for them to grasp that he isn’t actually 13. It’s also very hard for them to grasp that he’s an assassin and that being called ‘bud’ or lord forbid ‘kiddo’ made some part of him shrivel up and die.

But Diego is trying, and most importantly Diego is alive. Five could hear Vanya playing violin down the hall, trying hard to gain control of her powers. He could hear Luther stumbling about somewhere around the house and he could hear Klaus and Allison’s ringing laughter as they created whatever mischief they could get into.

And Five didn’t intend to be burying his family again for a very, _very_ long time.

“This coffee _is_ shit” Five responds before he pushes his mug across the table “Why don’t you make me another one?” he says with a smug grin. Diego scoffs and shakes his head but grabs his mug off the table anyway.

“I’m only doing this so you stop looking like a kicked puppy”

“Sure”

“I will poison your coffee”

“You're not smart enough for that”

Diego goes on to spill more death threats but Five just listens and tries to smother a smile.

What was it that the handler told him? ‘We’re all looking for happy’

Five hadn’t been. Five had been looking for safe. Had been looking for his family alive. Had been looking for a soft bed and good coffee.

He still didn’t have good coffee, but he thinks he’s found something else instead.

Safe, alive and _happy._

Five could get used to that.

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys! Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!


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